The lucky ones, we shine like a thousand suns
by FlameOfIllumination
Summary: Post Chosen. Faith explains what she's doing now. OneShot


**Post Chosen. Femslash, but not the focus. Mostly a Faith ramble.**

So Buffy and I have pashed a few times. Yeah I know unreal, right? This is the part where we're supposed to fall in love, supposed to be crazily messily in love with all my issues coming out, all my anger going away, and me and her finding out together that we can make it work. But it doesn't work like that. We fight together, all night. Then, thanks to the slayer stuff, we're starving and we head to the local Mickey D's and wolf down those tasteless cardboard pancakes, fight over who buys the coffee and sit in companionable silence. Buffy keeps her eyes on her food and I check out the early morning joggers who stop by to get a bottle of water.

Wait, I'm off track.

It was another kind of night, a night when the fight was easy, night when there were other slayers crowding us out that we got a bit friendly.

Capital city, right? You'd think that'd be perfect place to find lots of vamps, but it's actually more likely to have five or six slayers around, haunting all the graveyards and the dark alleys. So we head out, out past the suburbs and into the woods. The demons hide out there, so we'll fight them, but nine times out of ten we'll only find one the whole night, which means all that adrenalin, well it just goes nowhere. That's my explanation for that thing a couple of nights ago, when she stole my kill…my vampire, I mean.

Anyway we fought each other, and crossed that line we've been daring each other to cross since we met 5 years ago. It was like that time when I came to Sunnydale and slept with the Action Man figurine she had masquerading as a boyfriend. Good times. Or not. I mean, it's not like I can just dismiss who I was, pretend I'm just a good girl who likes to party.

I have the same problem Buffy does with running her mouth off. Must be a slayer thing. Anyway, it was **my** fight, **my** demon, and she stole the kill. I stood there, open mouthed for a few seconds as he died, and she grinned at me. So I hit her, or tried to. Excellent reflexes and all, so we fought. Buffy's got a desk job at the moment, so not quite as fighting fit as she used to be and I beat her. Couldn't kill her through, which is the usual way to get rid of the adrenalin pumping through my body so I had to do something else. And of course once I kissed her she got right into the spirit of things, hands in my hair, her tongue in my mouth.

We rolled around like that for a few minutes then we stopped. I stopped. Buffy gets attached to the people she sleeps with, and if we'd done it- then how awkward we would have been. B's my friend, now, so I would have stayed with her, so as not to hurt her, but I'm not looking for forever and this girl- either you die for her like Spike and Angel, or you live forever waiting for her like, again, Angel.

I know. I'm bad. I'm evil. I killed a guy, I sided with the Mayor, I slept with Xander and I slept with B's boyfriend. But I'm not the same person I was, and that's thanks to two people. Angel, and Buffy. Her anal speeches kinda made me realise that my kind of good doesn't have to be the same as hers, that coming back from where I was doesn't mean turning into the preachy mother for a house of potentials. **Slayers. They're slayers.** And Angel? Well you know. Spike had the best name for him, nearly sprayed coke all over the walls when I heard it from Xander. Tall, Dark and Forehead helped me out, so we're cool. We're like friends.

I'm friends with the p-other slayers too. It's weird. I have friends. Never really knew what that felt like before.

**Feels like there's a lot of weight on your tail, dragging you down. **

But, it's kind of a good thing anyway, knowing there are people…well knowing you have someone to slow you down.

So…what was I saying? Buffy. Yeah. I stopped, pulled away, stood up, and helped her up. Gave her a grin.

"What was that?"

"It's called fun B. you should try it more often."

"But…"

"Yeah sorry to interrupt the fun but this ground is all wet and gross and you aren't really the type for me."

"Hey!"

She's offended, even though she doesn't really like me that way. Such a blonde.

"I just mean, I'm not interested in holding hands with you at a Scooby meeting or playing footsie under the table like Red and Kenny."

"Then why this?"

"Are you not listening? You stole my demon! Anyway, this is not relationship stuff. You ever heard of a one night stand?"

"Eww Faith, gross!"

I laughed when she said that. I can read her face like a book. She doesn't like me that way, but she's curious, and part of her wouldn't have minded if we'd ended up in the sack. That's good, that's the way I like it.

That way I set the rules.

It's easier if they love me, of course, but I won't do that to B. don't ask me why. It would just be…embarrassing if I could do that to the Slayer.

I love that even though there are something like five hundred Slayers, she's the slayer. As am I. which is a little odd. I'm not the second slayer in slayer history, not anymore. Watchers teach all the little slayers about the battle we fought with the Potentials, so when we run into strange slayers they can get a little weird around us, like we're rock stars or something.

"The Slayers" not "two slayers."

"Faith? Hello?"

Oops. Forgot what I was thinking about.

"Yeah B?"

"So what happens now?"

"Well, nuthin. But next time you steal my slay you know what to expect."

She laughed, we walked home. Our home. The new watcher's council pays us, something. A kind of bonus for closing the Hellmouth was the house they gave us. It could have been a dump, that's what they offered us separately, two dumps, but we worked out a system. So me, B, Dawn, Xander and Andrew share a house. It's weird, but it'll do.

I don't know what she expected when we got home. Dawn and Andrew were watching a DVD, Xander was cooking, and she hovered in the hallway with me, looking uncertain. "Chill B. you'll get used to it." I said, and walked away, into the lounge room.

"Hey little D. Nerd boy."

"Faith." They nodded, not taking their eyes off the screen. I sat next to Dawn, stretched and yawned, turned my eyes to the screen.

I don't know. You probably don't get it. You probably don't get why these little details matter. Why did I tell you about the slayer groupies? Why did I tell you I have friends, that I'm living with Buffy, watching movies with her sister and another stranger they took into their house?

Well, I guess those things matter to me. More than the good times B and I have when we're slaying, more than kissing her.

They are what are important to me. This feeling I have, these…petty happenings.

I guess I've changed.

**One-shot, because who doesn't love Faith?**

**Seriously, tell me.**

**No updates for a while I'm sorry, lots of exams, but when they're done, nothing but free time so I will update.**


End file.
